So… I’ve been questioning a lot about myself lately, and this blog is one of the ones I frequent with a trans mod, and I was wondering, how did you know? I asked a trans woman friend, but she said “I would know”, but I just feel confused. I watch MilesChronicles and while I watch him I think “That could be me, what if happier as a boy” but then I get really worried because what will my friends and family think? I guess I just wanted to ask someone who probably went through the same thing.

ao3tagoftheday:

When you have a very big question, it helps to break it up into smaller questions. Instead of asking “am I a boy” consider asking yourself some of these questions:

How do I feel when I hear someone say my name?

How do I feel when I hear someone call me “she”?

How do I feel when I hear someone refer to me as a girl?

What kind of aesthetic look do I want for myself? Is that look masculine? Feminine? Something else?

How do I feel about various aspects of my body? Is there anything I’d like to change?

Has there ever been a time when something about my current gender identity or expression made me happy? When was that and why did it feel good?

Has there ever been a time when something about my current gender identity or expression made me unhappy? When was that and what about it upset me?

Which people in my life do I most identify with and want to emulate? What gender(s) are they and how do they express their gender(s)?

In which groups of people do I feel most comfortable? What genders are the people in these groups and what are the gender dynamics in these groups?

What adjectives best describe who I want to be as a person? How can I apply those adjectives to my gender or gender expression?

Is my current gender identity fun? If it is, what’s fun about it? If it isn’t, what can I do to make it more fun?

Is there anyone whose body, gender, or gender expression I’m envious of? What exactly do those people have that I want?

You don’t have to have answers to all of these questions. Or any of them. But you should think about them. Gender is made up of a lot of complicated fragments, and it’s not as simple as “just knowing”. There’s no absolute truth of your identity hanging out in the ether waiting to be discovered. Fundamentally, you don’t need to figure out what you are. You need to figure out what you want to be. Your identity should be whatever makes you feel happiest, most comfortable, most settled in your own skin. There’s nothing wrong with not knowing what that is yet, and there’s nothing wrong with playing around a little (or a lot) in order to figure it out.

I’m always here if you need to talk to me. You can message me here or at my personal @boytranscending.