edensirises:

being nonbinary is so fucking hard

every time you turn on a television, play a video game, open a fanfic, admire someone in public, or listen to music you’re presented with almost exclusively binary representation or demographics 

so you’re forced to choose, even if subconsciously. will you play the male or female character? will you like and relate with the male side character or the female villain? will that female pop singer resonate with you that male blues one? 

when you’re scrolling through instagram wanting to be as pretty as these models you’re subconsciously choosing, ‘do I want to look like these beautiful women or striking men?”

our society is so binary that 99.99% of every person in every thing whether it’s fictional or not not only fits into that binary but idealized stereotypical epitomes of those 2 genders

so maybe youre amab and transfem but every single person you see (that you recognize as deemed attractive in society) on social media or every day life or fiction adheres to extremes of that binary and you have to choose which you relate or aspire to because it is so so easy to forget you can aspire to something you never see 

or maybe youre afab transmasc and have a similar issue. 

or maybe you’re agender or genderfluid or any number of possible identities. the struggles only get more unique and difficult from one identity to the next

because even within the nonbinary community, even within queer spaces, being nb is so so so unique from person to person that it’s almost impossible to ever see yourself in another person. or who you could be, how you could express. how you could feel. 

afab androgynous and beard feminine seem to be the only two kinds of expression in the community you ever even see in number or shared by others and god knows that still pales in comparison to the binary majority  

we are all somewhere and want to be somewhere else, we all aspire to an idealized form of our potential self expression, but when you don’t see what you could be within your own community and only see men and women everywhere else it’s so hard. 

it gets so easy to feel like you have to make a choice that’s not right for you, and it’s hard to aspire to something you’ve never seen and can scarcely imagine